I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
