some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
