I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
