I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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