Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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