i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
