Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Sponge bath it is.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
