apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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