white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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