What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
