Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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