We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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