Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
