i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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