i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So much Jack, so little girl.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
