Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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