White coat. Heels.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
