so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
