I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
