I feel great
I just peed on a car
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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