Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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