girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
