Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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