i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
