Where is the hickey?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
