She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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