the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
