Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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