Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
