Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
