Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
