Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
