every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
