I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
