I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
