started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
