how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
