UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
