I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
