I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
