i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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