Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
