hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
