dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
3 2 1 whiskey
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
