is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
