her vagine was all disorganized.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
