I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
