I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
