How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
