not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
