So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
