Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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